> Wood Bats?
| “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,” –Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “The older I get the better I was” ~ George Masters (Captain Marauder) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to wood bats? We interviewed some slow pitch enthusiasts for an opinion. The following statement by one besieged former (composite) power hitter pretty much summed it up. “Who can resist a roaring fire on a snowy February evening? Certainly not your beloved. All you need to build your own romantic bonfire is the following”:- Eight cords of wood softball bats (Take care that they are procured from forests in our occupied territories as true Canajun trees are much denser and burn hotter) - One can of lighter fluid (Our firefighter expert comrade Reggie Bonn advises tying a red velvet bow around the can; companies like Worth & Easton that manufacture metal & composite bats will appreciate this attention to detail!). Organize your wood bats in the triangular tented fashion you all learned about in Canajun Re-education camp. Put your arm around your sweetie and sprinkle lighter fluid on the wood bats. Strike a match off the unshaven chin of an Umpire and toss it on the bat pile. Enjoy the romance of the flickering flames and perhaps toast a marshmallow dipped in maple syrup while you wait! |